If you’re new to this journey, you’re probably not searching this way, so welcome to an article dedicated to all things first-time sex. Chances are, you’re feeling a little nervous about the whole thing. It’s completely understandable that, whether it’s your first time or your 50th, sex can be awkward when you don’t know how to go about it in certain steps—especially with someone new and especially if you compare it to the movies. Because in reality, sex can look quite different from what you think.
Interestingly, there is no right or wrong way to have sex as long as it is consensual.
And while sex is all about exploring and discovering your desires, you may not know exactly what you’re doing but don’t worry. Still, there are some things. And you can find out here.
So relax, breathe and enjoy the process. To clear up any and all confusion, we’ve put together some great guides so you can navigate all the rules of sex.
The rules of sex are 7 rules
- Get ready!
It is really important that you prepare yourself for physical intercourse.
Sex – apart from being a completely natural, physical activity – is also an emotional affair. Nerves can take over for you or your partner, and it’s completely normal to feel a little overwhelmed.
If you’re nervous, take a minute to think if you want it right now, you’re not feeling pressured, and it’s with someone you trust.
You may experience many expectations regarding sex, and although it is essential to feel mentally prepared, being prepared with protection will do wonders to put your mind at ease and increase enjoyment.
In addition to using condoms to protect yourself from sexually transmitted infections (STIs) and unwanted pregnancies, some water-based lube will help things go more smoothly.
- consent
There is nothing more pleasurable than making sure that both partners actually want to have sex.
Talk to your partner, and let them know how you’re feeling, what’s working and what’s not. It’s okay to change your mind, and if at any point one of you feels uncomfortable, take a breath and try again when you’re both ready.
Remember, if a partner is drunk or under pressure, this also does not count as ‘consent’. The best thing is communication. Ask each other.
Also Read: Ways to Enlarge Penis – Tested Ways to Get a Thicker and Stronger Penis in Just 7 Days
- Learn about different types of sex
Sex is sex, right? Not well, not really. Sex can mean different things to different people and there are a few different ways you can have ‘sex’.
Oral sex, when you use your mouth to lick and suck another person's genitals.
Vaginal sex refers to sex where the penis is inserted into the vagina
Anal sex refers to when the penis enters the anus. Usually though, when people talk about 'having sex for the first time', they are talking about vaginal or anal sex. Although anal sex is not a normal sex act, it increases the chances of several infections.However, you choose to experience it for the first time, know that condoms are the only way to 100% protect yourself from HIV, STIs and unwanted pregnancy. Check out our how-to-have sex pages for more tips on safety.
- foreplay
For your first time, you may spend a lot of time worrying about the ‘end result’. While this is normal, spending as much time as possible on foreplay can really help both you and your partner enjoy sex and reduce the risk of getting hurt the first time!
Foreplay is something that helps you and your partner properly ‘turn on’ before your penetrative sex. Kiss, feel, and stimulate your partner as much as possible so that you feel into it and are ready for the next move.
It also simplifies the mechanics of sex. If a man is on the right track, his reaction manifests in his sex. So that it can enter the vagina more easily, although it depends on the type of sex you have. Women feel wetness in their vagina at that moment which acts as a natural lubricant so that the penis can slide inside more easily.
When you are ready, one of you can use your hand to gently guide the penis into the vagina. Take your time, and don’t worry if it takes a while to get it right – especially when you’re not used to each other’s bodies yet.
Once the penis is in, you can move your body to push the penis into the vagina and then partially back out. Do it in and out naturally – take it slow, be gentle and make sure both are in a comfortable position.
Remember that just because you start something doesn’t mean you have to continue. You or your partner can pause or stop at any time if you are not comfortable with what you are doing.
- Talk to each other
Sex should be fun! One way to ensure this is to keep in touch with your partner.
Some things may not feel good – so you may want to slow them down or stop them. Other things may feel amazing and you may want your partner to continue doing those things! You can like it when your partner touches you in a certain area, you can like it slow or fast. But how will they know if you don’t communicate with them in some way?
Use physical cues – make light noises, give them a knowing smile or whisper in their ear.
Your partner will love the fact that you are turning him on in some way and it will impress them. So let them know how you feel and ask them to do the same. Whether it’s your first time having sex or your 100th time, you want something different every time, so talking is the best way to get it!
- last few moments
Once you’ve both climaxed or sex is about to end, you’ll both likely be in a state of euphoria. Allow yourself to be in that state for as long as you need to be. Remember this is the stage where you can choose to hold each other or be by each other’s side.
Don’t rush; Allow your body to return to its normal state. Rush sex can be exciting at times, but if it’s done on a regular basis, it can leave you feeling a little incomplete.
- finish
The post coital part can be beautiful in some cases and awkward in others. So try to make your partner comfortable. Give her a t-shirt to wear, flirt a little and tell her how good the experience was. Smile and share a laugh together, it can be the best time to take your partner to a level of more dependence. So seize the opportunity.
After you’re done, make sure you wash up. Women, wash your vagina and vulva, and men wash their penis after removing the condom. Finally, make sure you dispose of condoms properly. Do not flush down the toilet. Instead, throw it in the dustbin wrapped in paper or tissue.